Me: I'm miserable. Friend: Stop doing that.

Okay, I’m the queen of negative thoughts about myself. I’m constantly wondering why I’m not good enough, why I’m not pretty enough, why this, why that… you get the point. If you’ve read my blog thus far, you know I’ve been though some tough shit and it’s caused me to have negative feelings about myself. I know for a fact that I’m not the only one that’s felt like this before.

I’ve been doing a little research on how to stop thinking negatively about myself. I want to change for the sake of my children. I want them to grow up and have self love. They’re the most perfect little things that I’ve created. I know how amazing they are and it would kill me if any of the thoughts that run through my head ran through theirs one day. Mom, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry for any of the negative things that I’ve said about myself in front of you. Thinking about it now, I see how hurtful hearing me be so negative about myself can be to you. I’m so sorry.

I’m going to state the five steps of letting go of your miserable thoughts and how I plan on making these changes.

Step one: Identify the moments that you’re being negative about yourself.

They say that the first way to overcome a problem is to identify your problem or that you have a problem. This is pretty easy for me. It happens every so often when I just feel down on my luck. If I can’t see myself being negative, I have a friend that is brutally honest with me and let me know that I’m being negative. I know it sounds harsh but it’s something that I truly need in my life. Friend, you know who you are. Thanks for helping me see that the way I feel about myself isn’t how I should be feeling about myself.

When you are being negative, don’t beat yourself up about it. Be proud that you’re catching yourself in the act. Just simply tell yourself “Oh man! There I go again. I’m kind of sick of hearing this like a broken record. Let’s change this record!” Think of something else and move on from the negativity.

Step two: Analyze the situation and see what is causing your negative thoughts.

I already know where a lot of my negative thoughts come from. I am dying to find the love of my life and when things go wrong with a guy, I see myself being the problem and I want to know what I lack that makes me “unloveable.” At this point I need to realize that it isn’t me. I’ve just come across someone that happens to not be the one. I have to come to terms that there is someone out there for me and I just haven’t found them yet. Find out what’s causing these negative thoughts to constantly be in your head. The important thing is to make sure we aren’t letting these situations and thoughts consume us. I’ve let that happen way too often and I’m so sick and tired of it.

Step three: Stop listening to the inner demons.

This step is probably the hardest one for me. I’m constantly listening to my inner demons and believing every negative thought I have about myself. If you’re really wanting to change how you think about yourself, you have to chose to not listen to the inner demons. You have to make the effort to change all the negative thoughts that you have.

I’ve been having negative thoughts about myself for as long as I can remember. It’s going to be hard to switch my mindset and not believe the horrible things that I say about myself.

Step four: Make it a habit to think positive things about yourself.

When I’m in the full negative mindset, I find it so hard to find one good thing about myself. You have to be completely intentional when it comes to dissolving the negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones. I plan on starting therapy within the next couple of months after I do some research and find the best therapist for me. I always thought it was so cheesy when people would tell me to look at myself in the mirror and give myself daily affirmations. Even though I still find it a bit on the cheesy side, I’m going to give it a try. I’m going to do it every single morning with my girls. We’re going to say one good thing about myself and one good thing about each other. I want to build my girls up and have them see me build my self up as well. Since I seem to be able to get my thoughts out best when I’m writing, I plan on starting a gratitude journal. I truly do have so much to be thankful for.

Step five: Be consistent on your new journey.

Yes, this is going to be difficult and you might not see results right away. You might have a day when you’re able to fight those negative thoughts with positive ones and continue on with your day and that’s great! You might also have days that are harder and you continue to play the negative thoughts in your mind. That’s okay too. None of us are perfect and it’s going to take a lot of practice and patience with ourselves to change our habits that some of us have had most of our lives. You have to be the one that takes control over how you react in situations.

Let’s do this all together. I’m here for every single one of you. I’m always here if you want to talk or need to hear an affirmation from me. I got you!

Think positive thoughts!

-Amber